What Do I Do If My Spouse Doesn’t Want To Divorce?

What Do I Do If My Spouse Doesn’t Want To Divorce?

Many of my clients have come to me with this situation. One spouse has decided to divorce and the other spouse doesn’t want to. Why does this happen and what can you do about it? It is unusual for both spouses to arrive at the decision to divorce together. Usually,...
Signs That Your Partner May Want a Divorce

Signs That Your Partner May Want a Divorce

Lisa (not her real name) tells me, “My parents wondered why we aren’t going out together like we used to. They used to babysit for us every week, but it has been months now. I know something is wrong, but I can’t figure it out. We just aren’t happy; we aren’t having...
Divorce is a Death. When Will The Grieving End?

Divorce is a Death. When Will The Grieving End?

The grief Maria (not her actual name) experienced when her divorce was over brought her to therapy. When she arrived for her first session, she was overwhelmed. Her eyes were red from crying, and she held a wet tissue in her hand. “Where do I start?” She asked. There...
Do Trial Separations Ever Work?

Do Trial Separations Ever Work?

Do trial separations work? Can a relationship benefit from taking a break? It all comes down to outlining clear intentions, communication, and goals. The Gottman Institute recommends the following for a trial separation:   Be specific, honest, and vulnerable...
How to Have the “Perfect” Divorce

How to Have the “Perfect” Divorce

Worried about a bad divorce? These simple tips will help you have an almost-perfect divorce, while protecting your children and launching your family into a healthy future. 1. Don’t threaten divorce if you haven’t thought it through carefully. Be sure – either you...
What If I Don’t Want the Divorce? Can I Stop It?

What If I Don’t Want the Divorce? Can I Stop It?

Jane (not her real name) called me in tears. I had worked with her and her husband in marital counseling for several months a year ago. “Jim just told me he wants a divorce! I did not see this coming, and I don’t know what to do! What if I don’t want to divorce! Can...
Is Your Marriage Doomed After an Affair?

Is Your Marriage Doomed After an Affair?

Courtney came to my office after her husband had an affair. She wanted counseling to help her decide whether to forgive or divorce him. She was concerned about her three young children and worried about being able to support herself financially. She’d loved being a...
What Is a Child Centered Divorce?

What Is a Child Centered Divorce?

When a divorcing couple has children, it is easy for the parents to get so caught up in their own negative emotions that they don’t focus on the needs of the children. As difficult as it might be, both parents need to set aside their own emotions and focus on the...
Tips to Help Your Kids Enjoy the Holiday During Your Divorce

Tips to Help Your Kids Enjoy the Holiday During Your Divorce

Acknowledge the loss If this is the first time your family is not together for Christmas, Hanukkah, or other winter holidays, your kids will feel a sense of loss. They will grieve the loss of the traditions they enjoyed in the past. In addition, they make feel caught...
Surviving the Holidays Without Your Kids

Surviving the Holidays Without Your Kids

Holidays without your kids during divorce feels awful. Here are four tips. Published previously on psychologytoday.com Oct 01, 2019 I don’t know how I will survive Thanksgiving this year. It’s the first time I won’t be with my kids. My soon-to-be-ex is taking the kids...